I really want to cut myself.
Everything that I haven't dealt with for the past 6 months is laying on my skin. Its right there. I really want to cut it away.
I know I would feel better. I Know it. But with it comes so much else. I'm not sure I can deal with the secrets and the constant hiding and worry.
Not to mention all the promises I've made.
And the fact that "I'm too old for this."
Mhm. Yes, well. Not taking my meds, being stressed and still being depressed. I am not doing very good anymore. I've pretended for so long and its time to admit that things are not working.
I still have razors in my room. I could never bring myself to throw them away. And now I have to force myself away from them. I haven't touched them yet, I know if I even look at them, I'll do something I regret.
I'm not sure I'll ever get past this. I thought I had but Jesus I was wrong.