Playing:The Gift-Seether
Feeling:Violated
VIOLATED!! Pap smears and Pelvic exams are horribly evil! I feel icky all over. I bet a man came up with the idea for those. Nothing could be more awkward. At least I have a female physician. Male gynos should not be allowed. They're all a bunch of perverts.
In another news, I am exhausted. My diary is so neglected because I can never find time to write an entry. I have to write it out on paper between classes and/or jobs (which is what I'm doing now). I'm not getting enough sleep and I'm barely eating (good thing!). Being busy is an excellent excuse for weight-loss. I've been taking in as few calories as possible these days. It feels great being able to do this again. Loose fitting clothing is always welcome.
I feel guilty that I censor this diary in regards to Matt. I don't want to write bad things about him, and make diaryland think I should leave him or say I really don't love him.
I'm just upset right now. Matt does not censor what his family says about me. It doesn't matter what the say, he'll tell me. And while I appreciate his honesty, it really hurts my feelings. And he knows it hurts me. Matts mom has been giving him a hard time lately about not going to RVC full time. She says if he won't go full time, he needs to find another place to live. Later on, I find out that another reason she wants him out is because I'm always at their house acting like I'm married to him (I.E Sex).
While its true, we do have sex there, thats hardly a reason to be upset with me. It takes two to fuck and maybe she should talk to her son. I am not the one who seduced him into having sex. I swear toGod, his whole family sees me as this harlot taking away Matt's virtue. Its bullshit. When Matt and I started dating, I was aggressive because he was too shy to kiss me. After that he was the one who become more sexual and lustful.
How am I ever going to be accepted into his family?