(WRITTEN YESTERDAY)
Given, I knewthis would happen. You can't do shit like this without it coming back to bite you in the ass. Nonetheless, I am still annoyed.
The happiness of "matt day" has died. In its place, blind rage and violence directed at most of the people I encounter.
You know, I thought we had an unspoken agreement, to cover each others asses and not to drag the others names into it. But, whatever. Lets see if I confide in you again. Thats the problem with conspiracies. No one involved can be trusted. Now I hate both of you. Just know, that my priority is the kids. You can both fuck off because neither of you deserve them.
I'm upset with Matt as well. I feel he has no sense of responsibility and that infuriates him. He's 18 (19 in nov.) but I swear to God, at times he has the maturity of a 12 year old. He's a complete slob. lazy (regarding certain things) and an intense procrastinator. If I ask him to do anything his response is always "later" or "in a minute" (minute meaning hours, days or until I nag enough till he does it). He's also irresponsible with his time and money. He'll stay up all night or very late when he has school early the next day. He'll sleep through his morning calculus class, just not go! He'll spend an absurd amount of money on video games or figurines or ciggarettes.
He acts like a dumbass in front of my friends and family. I am tired of people asking me what I see in him or telling me I can do better. He has so much potential. When we're together I want people to tell me how lucky I am, and how great he is. I want them to understand why I love him.