So I am an official college student now. Kind of. I'm taking a summer math class at RVC, a college that I have refused on attending. However, I decided to make an adult decision and take the one class. I know I have a lot of catching up to do in math, I might as well get a head start.
Its only my 2nd day in the class (I missed the first one...oops). Its SO long!! 10:50-1:40...it's ridiculous. And we're already through the first chapter!! Its insane...
And..I think I'm starting to gain a better sense of control. I'm no longer feeling the need to self-destruct...well, at least I'm not following through on the feelings. I'm deciphering what is rational and what is not. Because...I almost think that I'm too old for this now.
Look how far I've come. I'm a highschool graduate, I have been accepted to Hollins University, I have a job, I'm in love, I'm engaged. I'm growing up and I cannot rely on the same things that I did when I was 13. And its not the same anymore. It seems childish now.
No problem is solved by cutting myself. It's taken me 5 years to realize that.
As for the eating disorder. Its been harder to recover from that. I think I'll always have some ED tendancies. But its not about instantly being cured, its about taking one day at a time. Striving for success but not killing myself when I make a mistake.