I have a new iPod. I felt like a spoiled rich girl buying it. I'm only 2 of the 3, but still, a combination of the 3, icky feeling. I wrote out a $421 check. I feel slightly silly for doing this. But damn apple and their one year warranties!! If it wasn't for that I could have gotten my iPod replaced for free for the billionth time.
However, this iPod is just sexy. Its very thin, its black and the screen is in color. It has pictures and videos and all music purchased from iTunes has a picture of the album cover with the song. Yea. Its hott.
I'm leaving for Band & Choir tour soon. Yea. That's right, I'm a choir geek and damn proud of it. In the exception of when we have to sing a stupid song and do a stupid dance with it. Damn all supposed christian gospel music that really sounds like strip tease music.
I'm off my seroquel. Hence my anxiety. I haven't been sleeping much, eating has been irregular in the sense of dipping back into old habits more frequently. I haven't cut myself in quite some time. The last time was when I was still seeing Dr. Rizvi. However, the scars are quite prominent and a little indented. I didn't realize I had gone that deep.
I feel as though I've gained weight, and even if I haven't this is not an acceptable feeling and it must be seriously dealt with. I've basically decided on restriction and purging if I feel I've eaten too much.
I think I'm failing spanish. (More anxiety) I really don't give a fuck, externally. Because a.) I'm going to college, I've been accepted!! b.) there a no hispanic lebians at hollins, I'm sure of it c.) its a waste of my time
Now Reasons I care: a.) My dad will kick my ass b.) I've never actually failed anything c.) I'm a perfectionist and not doing well is killing me, even though I still refuse to study (I don't for anything else! Why should I break for spanish??) d.) I wonder if me failing would inhibit me from graduating.
And whats infuriating still, is that it is impossible to cheat in that class. I have my cuban friend check/correct/sometimes do the written assignments but come tests and quizzes I'm screwed. I know the vocab but on everything else I'm fucked.
Girl Interrupted is a better movie then book.
Matt is very sick. I'm not entirely sure whats wrong with him, I think he might have a vitamin defficiency or maybe this has something to do with diabetes or hypoglycemia (his mom is diabetic). I think he's lost more weight and he is so tired, he's been throwing up a lot too. I told him he's pregnant and he didn't laugh, he's really sick.
I haven't heard anything back on my FAFSA report yet. I would like to know sometime soon how I will be paying for college. I'm starting to think I might have to pimp myself out to the Lesbians or maybe strip for money/good grades. I'm not above whoring myself out for Hollins.