I don't know why its so hard for me to update now. The only reason why I'm even doing it now is because I was prompted by email. It wasn't even a request for updates, it was someone saying they were afraid to read my diary.
Which surprised me a little. Who would be afraid of me or my words?
I've been getting phone calls from an unknown number. This person never calls when I'm awake so I always have missed calls in the morning. At first I suspected the Restricted Number but he never dialed normally, while this person's number is just plainly there on the screen. I've called back countless times and they've never answered. It's quite perplexing.
All I want to know is for what state is the area code 847??
My hair is no longer black. The color has been stripped and what was under it was a sort of light brown reddish blonde color. Almost identical to my hair color when I was 3 years old. If you knew me then.
The change was drastic. I really don't know what posessed me.
Hollins sent me a sticker today. I promptly ran outside in my nightgown barefoot upon recieving it, to put it on my car. I was really excited.
My british literature teachers' room smells like burning old people. Which makes sense because she's about a thousand years old. I'm convinced that she's cooking herself. Slow suicide or something. Must we all suffer?
I'm not the same. But I am. Although I am different in many ways, some things have stuck while others have left.
I think I'm increasingly paranoid and agitated.
Like to certain people, right now I'd like to tell you to kiss my ass or fuck off. Because. You're upsetting me.
And to one person I'd like to beg you to come and get me. Hold me, take me to your house, let me fall asleep in your bed again. Like the night I snuck out, and you came in to check on me every 10 minutes. The check up also involved a kiss on the forehead. Yea. I'd like to do that again.
Returning to old habits that were never really spoken of but you all completely know what I mean and if you don't well its just none of your damn business.
Hah.
I left my computer for a little while and came back. Can you tell where the insanity began? I sure as hell can't.
To me its all the same, haven't you realized that yet? I'm talking to you, only to you because I WANT YOU TO FIX ME.
That's a lot of pressure I know. But I think God has led me to you. Listen to me, talking like I'm in KJ's Bible class or something.
I have no right.