My neck hurts.
I officially start therapy again tomorrow. I am very nervous. I don't want to go (Yes I do), I don't like this. It bothers me that I need therapy. I'm scared this guy will be a psycho bitch like the infamous Deb. Or maybe he'll medicate me further. (Not a bad thing I guess).
So on Thursday I was speaking to someone new, and I was trying to open up just a bit. And. They didn't believe me. Ow.
Talking about it makes me feel crazy. As soon as I say it out loud its sanctified and its real.
I'm pretending to go to work tonight. How exciting. The extent that everyone goes to to decieve each other. They all need therapy. Maybe even more than me.
(haha, ignored?)
I've been spending more time with Ashleigh and people I never thought I'd spend time with. And emily and sarah are no longer as close to me as I would like. Sarah and I have issues out the ass and Emily and I just don't talk very much. We were getting rather close and then it just slowed down.
Lately there has been lots of blood. Lots of moments were I scraped and scratched and slashed at myself. Making promises I cannot keep.